How to Sound LIKE A BOSS in 6 ½ Easy Steps

This is a repost of original posted on my linkedin profile [14 Aug 2014]

We know how to dress like one and walk like one, but what about sounding like one? Whether recently promoted or managing a team or just-not-there-yet, put in practice these pointers and watch your career fly …!

Here’s how you sound like a Big Boss-man (or woman)!

… Over Emails

1. Have Email communications with your team members over a number of days over a single topic

Sender: 1 Aug @ 10am: Shall we call Mr.X today at 4pm?
You: 2 Aug @ 10.45am: Ask for today 11am or tomorrow 3pm
Sender: 2 Aug @ 11am: Mr X is ok for tomorrow 3pm
You: 3 Aug @ 2.45pm: Hi. Can you push the call to 4 Aug at 6pm? …

2. Send emails at 11pm using Outlook’s “Delay Delivery” to look busy at unearthly working hours. Make that 2am!

3. Above emails are unlikely to be read by team members the following day. Start talking about the topic at an advance level. When no one understands what you’re saying, ask “Didn’t you read my email?”

4. Send long winded grammatically & legally wordy emails with several attachments. The following morning you know what to do – “Didn’t you read my email?”

5. Send people random links to web-articles without a subject line explaining the content. Then go “Didn’t you read my link?”

6. Make a fuss and throw a tantrum over why you were in the “CC” of the email instead of in the “To” section, next to the other biggies of your organization

… With Clients & Team over Phone

7. When asked about your weekend, always answer “Not too bad, Not too bad”

8. Introduce yourself each time before replying or saying anything on a conference call of 2 people.

Eg. “Hi this is Jerry here. What was the original contract value?” …. “Hi this is Jerry here. Did I approve this last time?”

9. Zone out during conference calls. Reply only in monosyllables and “uh-Huh” throughout the call. Be the first one to say “I think we made good progress on this call” before hanging up

10. Always get the other person to give you a Recap and Overview on everything before discussing the urgent matter. This will tire them out from talking too much. You can dominate the conversation afterwards while they catch their breath!

… During Team Meetings and in office

11. During team monthly reporting use words like “You are telling me the problem and not the solution”. Ignore the fact that the team member actually gave the solution minutes ago.

12. When explaining anything say things like “Be like water. You need to take the shape of the vessel. The vessel will not take your shape. That is how you’ll grow in life.”

13. Tell team you have a lunch meeting followed by a 4pm meeting. Go straight home instead

14. Tell team members to take medical leaves and annual leaves responsibly and with 2 weeks prior notice. Then without notice, take the following week off on a suspected foot fungus infection, or because your maid is unwell, or because your dog’s life partner left him

… In general

15. Write articles titled “How to Sound Like a Boss in 6 1/2 easy steps” and list 16 instead

16. Put in a disclaimer that if the above doesn’t work for you and your career flies out the window instead, the writer is not responsible because…. “didn’t you get my Memo?”


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About Archan B

I read. I write. I am literate. And I wish there were more literate people in the world who could then express themselves in beautiful words of prose and poetry.

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